bradSigned | Chapter : 6 | Date : 01/09/09
At the end of this chapter my first, most urgent thought was that Harry and Ginny should - or would - get together and collaborate on a mission to abort Hermione's wedding to Andrew! Harry's sense of loss was palpable in this instalment, nicely done. |
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fledgeSigned | Chapter : 6 | Date : 02/08/09
Perhaps it helps him to to re.evaluate his feelings... Serves him right, I'd say. But I'd have liked to se him kick Walden's ass for the way he treated Hermione.
Kind of an intermediate chapter otherwise, as you are saying yourself in the introduction. Hope to see more of Ginny at work soon! |
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fledgeSigned | Chapter : 6 | Date : 01/08/09
Kind of an in-between chapter, nothing much to say about it. Apart from Harry's reaction to Hermione's news about being fired. |
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I wanted to take a moment to say how much I enjoy your stories. I read them here and over at HPFF, and I find them very funny and charming. I especially like your characterization of Ginny - she's a bit of a control freak, and as stubborn as all the Weasleys, but essentially good-hearted. Are you planning to put all of your stories up on Portkey? |
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AmyKUnsigned | Chapter : 6 | Date : 19/07/09
OK, now I'm seriously curious about the reference you made. Can't quite place it. Can't wait for the next chapter! |
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vlbuehleSigned | Chapter : 6 | Date : 19/07/09
HBP SPOILER--As an H/Hr shipper I was pleasantly surprised at how much I enjoyed the movie. There were some wonderful Harry/Hermione friendship scenes in there that I had no difficulties translating to H/Hr with a bit of diffierent perspective.
I liked the idea of Andrew's parents perhaps not being any more enthusiastic about this than Hermione's. I also enjoyed poor Harry starting to realize what life without Hermione would be like. |
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vlbuehleSigned | Chapter : 5 | Date : 19/07/09
Oh, Jeez, poor Ginny just keeps getting deeper and deeper, doesn't she? I liked Mrs. Granger assuming who the Maid of Honor would be and Hermione having a completely different idea. I also liked even Mrs. Granger having some doubts about Andrew and Hermione.
Ron was great. You've got the best aspects of his personality down well, and I loved his horror at the thought of Harry and Hermione shagging. As for Ginny...I can't wait to see how she pulls this off. |
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vlbuehleSigned | Chapter : 3 | Date : 19/07/09
I liked the two perspectives of Hermione and then Ginny in this chapter. Hermione's interactions with her parents were amusing, especially the pregnancy scare, but I liked the part where she lets "Merlin!" slip and her parents trade looks; you summed up the difficulties in belonging to two separate worlds very neatly there, I think.
I loved poor Ginny's frustration, and her attempts to scheme up a new plan that doesn't involve Hermione moving away. I didn't have a problem with her logic, but this did clarify her motives and offer some insight into her personality too. |
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vlbuehleSigned | Chapter : 2 | Date : 19/07/09
Oh, this was hilarious! I loved all of it, but some parts that stand out: Hermione freaking out and finding herself in front of Harry, Ron and Ginny instead of just Ginny; Ginny's quip about them having sex and Ron's reaction to the mental images; Ron saying Harry was jealous of Hermione; and Ginny's reaction to Hermione moving to the States.
Poor Harry, choosing to do what's best for Hermione and encourage her to go to the States with Andrew, although I thought it was a nice touch that the American Ministry had offered her a position there. And Ginny laying out all the reasons why Harry and Hermione are in love with each and then demanding Ron help her split Hermione and Andrew up was great! |
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CathyDSigned | Chapter : 6 | Date : 18/07/09
Just came across your story and wanted to let you know how much I'm enjoying it. Can't wait to see how Ginny "helps" with the wedding. LOL Good job, keep it coming! 
~Cat~ |
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Aww, poor Harry! He's so obviously smitten with Hermione but he won't let himself realize it.  Hermione's boss is a jerk, but what would you expect from a former Death Eater? Andrew not having told his parents about the engagement doesn't bode well, not that I want it to go well, mind you. |
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NariSigned | Chapter : 6 | Date : 15/07/09
I'm totally loving this story! It's got just the right amount of angst and I love Ginny take on: scheming isn't as easy as everyone thinks it is. It's super funny. I can just imagine the moment when Harry sees Hermione in a wedding dress, feeling completely heartbroken by the fact that Andrew gets to be with her forever and not him... except that this is portkey and we do get to have our cake and eat it too! I can't wait. happy writing! Can't wait for the next part.  |
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The plot is something of a cliché at this point, as are practically all plots in Harry Potter fanfiction, but that doesn't mean it isn't fun - right? I always appreciate (somewhat absurdly, as it should be a given) when writers try to be fair to all the characters in their fandom, and while I grant that you could certainly be a Malfoy, or Snape, or Dumbledore basher - I can't tell from THIS fic, so I'm okay.
But sorry about all that, as none of it IS really about this fic is it? So far it's hard for me to give you a great analysis, as there's just too much left in the story, but I can say a few things. Your writing tends to lean toward the simplistic, with no great amount of time spent psychoanalyzing the characters, or even describing scenes. It's all about action - or rather, dialogue - for you. And that's not a bad thing really. It all comes down to personal preference of course. This is entertaining, and I like entertaining. It's a step or two above fluff, but I like fluff at times, and this has enough meat to it that I'll keep coming back if you keep writing. |
Author Feedback: There are honestly not that many characters in the HP world with whom I hold issue. I do, admittedly, despise post-GoF Ginny, but my hatred for her is so overwhelming that I tend to ignore her canon personality and write her in a way that, for me, feels less alienating.
You're pretty much spot on in your review - I do tend to concentrate mostly on dialogue and ignore psychoanalysis, description, etc. Since I was eleven I kept a quote book, so when I finally began writing when I was fourteen dialogue is what came naturally to me. I myself have never been all that fond of description - in fact my eyes sometimes tend to skip over long paragraphs of description in favor of the dialogue (like you said, everyone has a preference). Lately I've been forcing myself to read through descriptions as I know that - and practicing such writing, of course - is really the only way I'll learn, but it's a process.
That's not to say that I never examine the minds of characters or write descriptive pieces - rather I usually find myself unable to do so in a story such as this. If I write a story in which my main focus from the getgo is psychoanalysis then I don't have any issues. When a story is humorous, however, and involves some back and forth between characters, I have yet to figure out how to successfully include a decent amount of psychoanalysis or description. I've only been writing for a few years, so I think it's safe to assume that I still have a lot of work ahead of me, and that's one area to which I definitely have -- and will be -- paying careful attention.
Thanks very much for your honest critique of my story! Hopefully during this process I'll improve in the areas we both mentioned (it's definitely one of my goals). Thanks for reading and reviewing (and I apologize for any errors in this response - I've slept for about three hours in the past 30 hours, so suffice it to say my brain is a little muddled). :-) |
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usha88Signed | Chapter : 6 | Date : 14/07/09
That was an interesting chapter. It seems as if this was more of a filler chapter to set up what is going to happen and such. I thought it was good. I am looking forward to seeing how the next two months will pan out.
Oh, and I am seeing a midnight release of the Harry Potter movie as well!!!!!
Good luck getting over your writer's block. |
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Harry85Signed | Chapter : 6 | Date : 13/07/09
Well Hermione has only herself to blame for losing her job. If she had not accepted Andrew's proposal she wouldn't have to write that letter, and she would still have her job. 
I'm really curious to see how you plan to develop this, at the moment Harry doesn't seem willing to do anything to stop this nonsense from happening, and Hermione is too busy taking this seriously to realize that she's making a huge mistake. And Ginny is not being helpful at all, when this whole mess is her fault in the first place.  |
Author Feedback: Hello again! I suppose it is Hermione's fault, but that's a rather mean way of looking at it. LOL.
Harry is on his way to finally realizing that he needs to do something. He's at least growing fully aware of what an effect this change will have on him, which, I suppose, is more to say for Hermione (she has inklings of it, but she's too overwhelmed by everything to truly recognized it). Ginny will get a go on things soon - she might realize that the first plan isn't always the best, but she'll be making things happen. Ginny expects to get what she wants, and while I can't promise that she'll get it (though seeing as Portkey DOES have certain rules and given my history ), she'll certainly fight like hell to get it.
Thanks for reviewing! :-) |
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