randomSigned | Chapter : 33 | Date : 25/09/09
I haven't been to Portkey in years until someone recommended this story to me -- it was worth coming back for! I'm particularly enjoying the Cartel whodunnit and political intrigue. 10/10! |
Author Feedback: Remind me to thank whoever recommended the story -- I most certainly thank you for reading it! Yeah, we're not quite done with everyone yet... |
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I used to beta for him, so am well-acquainted with his works. I would read HP and the Circle's End and the short stories that go with it. Unfortunately, it's sequel, HP: Beyond the Looking Glass, has never been completed.
http://fanfiction.portkey.org/profile/8719 |
Author Feedback: Thanks! When a spare moment presents itself, I'll go check them out. |
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gemSigned | Chapter : 33 | Date : 22/09/09
So damn good. Liked the maneuvering in the beginning with Harry's nudging. And of course, loved the interaction between Harry and Hermione at the end. Interesting that owls can't sense him. |
Author Feedback: There are a few remnants of the Hallows' influence on him, and the bit with the owls is one. Others may yet make an appearance.
Sorry for the delay in responding, but I do thank you for the review. |
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Oh wait, why the heck did I....
Arg. Well, question still applies.
Ignore Stupidity. |
Author Feedback: No worries, I figured it out. Thanks, though! |
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It is me again.
Just a question: Would it be too cruel to make Rose develop a slight crush on Harry?
Since he is 18, young and the savior of the world.
Besides...Rose is almost exactly like her mom.
No?  |
Author Feedback: It might well be cruel. How fair would it be to give Rose a crush on her mum's beau?
But authors *are* cruel. We have to be.
No promises.... |
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Nice story. I have really enjoyed it so far and i hope harry some how gets stronger because of his use of the elder wand or he some how gets it back. |
Author Feedback: There are hints that Harry might still have some residual effects from being Master of the Hallows: we've seen a couple already, and more are on the way.
Thanks for dropping in! |
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Did Kingsley suggest Hermione for the part? I sure hope so, I think she would do a great job! And making all those elves legally adults? That's going to be hard, does Odgen know about that yet?? Until next chapter, great story, can't seem to get tired of it  |
Author Feedback: It will be interesting to see what Kingsley's letter says. As for the elves: nobody knows about the possibility of their human status but Harry and Hermione. The law change that will make all creatures of human ancestry "legally human" needs to be slipped in quietly, before anybody scopes out the implications. That will be the job of the next Minister.
Assuming it's not Blaise.
Thanks for reviewing! I'm always grateful. |
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AnonymousUnsigned | Chapter : 7 | Date : 19/09/09
The way Hermione figures out that Harry is alive is ridiculous... how do you make a leap of logic like that with no more information than "possible wizard working at some muggle restaurant"? Not to mention the absolute bitchiness with which she conducts the interrogation of Ted Lupin - there was no crime committed, how on earth does she have the right to forcibly question him? Even if she had real evidence on which to make her assumption that Harry is still alive, it's not like he committed a crime, where does she get the right to use Veritaserum on Ted?
H/Hr is a decent ship, but it drives me nuts when people make Hermione so smart that she can figure out anything given the vaguest, most indirect and probably incorrect hint. You're moving forward into a H/Hr relationship from here, but I've got to be honest with you, if I were Harry coming back to a Hermione the way you've characterized her, I'd never want a thing to do with her. She's obnoxious, to be honest, the way she was talking to Croaker and Kingsley... paraphrasing, she said "Oh, your workers all don't know how to shut their huge traps. I know everything ever, you should stop being morons and let me just do everything by myself".
When in the books is Hermione ever a great duelist? At the MoM, she is a useless fighter, in the 7th book, she's a useless fighter. She's got a wide spell lexicon, but that doesn't make her capable of dueling Voldemort. The things she's doing aren't within her rights at all, and the Hermione of the books would know and respect what she's allowed to do by the rules laid upon her as a Ministry worker. This Hermione is a complete Mary Sue, I'm afraid, you've made her a "bushy-haired force of nature" who's able to deduce plots that have been successful for 15 years as soon as she gets the vaguest, least direct hint, flouts the law as she pleases (including questioning an underaged wizard without having proven any crime whatsoever, or even formally accusing him of such).
You're doing nothing but portraying Hermione as perfect. She's so smart, she's so powerful, she's such a great fighter, she knows everything, she does her job better than anyone has ever done it, and she's better at doing other people's jobs than they have ever been. Gosh, the whole world should just bow down and let her run everything, no one else is competent enough to do things right. It's pathetic that the only characters I like so far are Victoire Weasley and Blaise Zabini, you've ingrained a thorough distaste for every other character by making Hermione their lord and master. |
Author Feedback: Well, this is an eloquent review. I've said repeatedly that I welcome all reviews, both the praising and the critical, and I'm pleased you've taken me at my word. Mind you, I would respect the critique more if you'd had the courage of your conviction, and not hidden behind a mask of anonymity. Be that as it may, my first reaction was amusement: by this review, evidently I've made Hermione both unbearably bitchy *and* unbelievably perfect. Which I would have to admit would be a neat trick -- the impossible usually is.
But in point of fact, I don't believe I've written Hermione either way. I've written her as flawed, not perfect, and one of those flaws is her ruthless streak she shows as Senior Counsel. A ruthless streak taken straight from canon, as her dealings with Rita Skeeter will attest. It is a sad reflection on our society as a whole, that the same qualities that let successful men be seen as "leaders", "decisive", "achievers", etc., make successful women "bitches". Obviously, I don't agree with society on this point.
Hermione's realization that Harry might be alive (and recall, she herself didn't believe it at first, and had to go find proof) is, again, foreshadowed in canon with her realization that Skeeter was a rogue animagus -- sparked by Harry asking how Hogwarts could be bugged. In this story, the spark was her seeing that Ted treated the mysterious Clayman as Harry treated Sirius. (That, and Harry's pseudonyms are pretty obvious.) Not ridiculous, nor pure logic, but a mix of logic and intuition coupled with an expert knowledge of Harry Potter.
She admits, later in the story, that she went over the line when dealing with Ted, and does indeed apologize to him. Nowhere does she claim that crime has been committed -- Creevey points that out to her as well -- but her obsession with finding Harry won't let anything stop her.
I think you minimize her abilities as a duelist. Far from being "useless " at the DoM, I count the Colloportus, a Stupefy, a disarm, a Silencio... in the end, she was struck down, not through lack of skill, but by underestimating Dolohov's ability to perform silent magic. As for dueling Voldemort, well, I posit in this story that, at the crunch, she went into berserker mode, which does typically grant ability far greater than normal. True, we don't see her as a berserker in canon (nor anyone else), but the phenomenon is known to exist; and given all that had happened, she certainly was in the right frame of mind! It's not a farfetched assumption at all.
As for the rest of your concerns: if Hermione is, indeed, as intelligent as canon says ("smartest of her generation", I believe), then that should be evident as she grows to adulthood. Yes, in this story she's competent, and in her field, supremely so. If she has to remind elderly Pureblood males that a young Muggleborn female might, possibly, be as competent as they -- well, that says more to the elderly males' mindset than hers. Honestly, I'm not quite sure how living up to her canon potential makes her a Mary Sue, particularly when I've gone out of my way to show some of her flaws as well.
If you've read no further than chapter 7, I urge you to continue reading, to see how Hermione's relationships with others -- including Harry -- evolves through the story. In any case, I do thank you for the review, which was both well-written and civil. I appreciate it. |
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AnonymousUnsigned | Chapter : 33 | Date : 18/09/09
Come on, we want everyone to find out that Harry beat Voldemort not Hermione. |
Author Feedback: But does *Harry* want everyone to find out? That's what matters. |
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I'm sure you've heard this quite a lot already, but in my opinion this is the best story on Portkey right now. I eagerly await and thoroughly enjoy each chapter. I've not reviewed until now and I wanted to remedy that.
Thank you for all that you do. Please keep it up. |
Author Feedback: My brain is telling me that there are many quite excellent stories on Portkey right now... some, in my opinion, better than this. (In the meantime, my ego is just strutting like a peacock at your words.)
Thank you! I will certainly carry this story to its conclusion, and I appreciate your kind words. |
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This is a great start, but I'm so scared it's going to be too sad for me to continue. I'm such a wimp... I'm a sucker for a happy story. |
Author Feedback: Well, you're on the first chapter... and I have to admit it, the story gets angsty and convolved before it gets better. But I encourage you to continue... I think you'll approve of the finale. |
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...You scared the hell out of me there, for a second! The bit where Nevelle is...accosted...by Susan, I thought briefly of Ginny. Whoo.
Great stuff. With each chapter after Harry's "resurrection" I keep feeling like you're tuning into the whole like-his-patronus element, since you keep describing Harry like a deer-in-headlights where the general wizarding population is concerned.  Can't wait for more! |
Author Feedback: Oh, c'mon. I mentioned Susan being with Neville all the way back in chapter 11. Granted, that was, er, a while ago... But no, Ginny is still trying to be Blaise's helpmate. A shame, really.
Harry's just not comfortable with crowds, is all. There's just something about living in hiding, in exile, on the run, while wearing an emotion-isolating Cloak for 15 yrs, that does that to a bloke.
He may never be free of it... but this is Harry, and if he can overcome his upbringing with the Dursleys, he can overcome this.
More you shall have! As always, thanks for reviewing. |
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AnonymousUnsigned | Chapter : 33 | Date : 15/09/09
Everything Brad said x2.
Hope to see another chapter up soon!  |
Author Feedback: As soon as I can, I promise. Thanks for the comment, and I feel sure Brad thanks you as well. |
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Have you read madscientist, by any chance?
Great chapter and I agree that it provides necessary plot development.
I like Neville/Susan. Good choice. |
Author Feedback: No, I've not read any of madscientist's works. Any recommendations?
And I, too, though Neville and Susan would do well together. If nothing else, they'd be comfortable with each other, having been brought up in the same social circles.
A bientot! |
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N.O.C.Signed | Chapter : 33 | Date : 14/09/09
Well Brad nailed most of the important points but I would like to say great chapter. I like the fact that you take the time to pull the story together toward a logical conclusion. Loved the political manipulation, that is so typical of real life. I'm not to worried over the big birthday party just yet. I do wonder however, just when Harry is going to ask Hermione how she died...and I think it will be a short trip to find Blaise's wand parts and put them back together. The new Potterwood can do that you know. Then he will find out what the last spell was and 2+2 will equal the solution. Blaise may be slick enough to cut a deal with Robards but I don't think he stands a chance against MR POTTER. lol
Can't wait to see how this goes next chapter!
Ardvarks, lol, were they doing the naughty in the hall ways????
Thanks again for writing such an entertaining story. |
Author Feedback: Oh, don't let Brad's eloquence prevent you from adding your own comments...
"Logical conclusion" is exactly what I'm aiming for here, given the story's initial assumptions. There will be a lot going on at the Party (though I'll try to make sure it's not too much of an infodump, like Bill & Fleur's wedding was in DH)... and a social gathering, after all, is the perfect opportunity for questions to be asked.
The aardvarks were doing what aardvarks do.
Thank *you*, for the entertaining reviews! I do appreciate them. |
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